glamourousbetch:

I hate when boys say “let’s chill”
What the fuck is chill? I’m a grown ass woman I don’t chill. You buying me dinner? I like steak.

rxchdad:

occupation: struggling tumblr comedian

(Source: pujuu)

qrieves:

"you are what you eat"

me:

image

  • me: hey google what's up
  • google: did you mean the stratosphere?
  • me: that's my shit, google. anyway, you know where i can find them little hot dogs, the mini wieners they serve at weddings?
  • *Wakes up in the middle of the night*
  • Me: Please don't be 6am
  • *1;48am*
  • Me: MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS TO ME!
  • *Shoves face back into pillow*

dicktho:

when the hairdresser shows you the back of your hairimage

onikalodeon:

can we talk about Nicki Minaj’s twitter location image

itsmemacleod:

oklovely:

but imagine if someone named their son ‘dick’ and their daughter ‘pussy’.

"dick, please stop messing with pussy."

iurp:

people on youtube be like…image

(Source: kelly-clarkson)